My little angels.

Happy New Years

I am looking forward to a new year, last year this time it was just another year to get through, because you see I was doing it without God. I have learned this year that with God all things are possible. He is with me each and every day. He is even present in all my tomorrows, and because of that I am confident he will be with me in whatever situation I am in, and will be there before it ever happens to help me from beginning to end. I am not making any frivolous new year resolutions because I know that they will not be kept, the only goal I have is to draw closer to the Lord, day by day I will lay my worries, cares, and sorrows on Him. He is abundently able to do that which is above what I can think or comprehend. I trust that you will start this year with the goal in mind to draw as close to the Lord as you possibly can, go out of your comfort zone and the joy He gives will be amazing. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing, and remember to always do the will of God.

We have a Heavenly Father above . . .

God put a song in my heart when I needed it most. I have been feeling down, the devil is trying to fight me constantly. Some days the raysof light seem few and far between because of the constant stuggle. I depend on God to get me through these days and he is but today it was like he came to me so strongly, I started singing,"We have a Heavenly Father above with eyes full of mercy and a heart full of love. He really cares when our head is bowed low, consider the lillies and then you will know." I then started to sing the verse,"May I introduce you to this friend of mine, who hangs out stars tells the sun when to shine, he kisses the flower each morning with dew but he's not to busy to care about you." I felt so surrounded with the Lord's presence and started praising God for his help and the help he is going to give me. I know he cares about me, he also cares about you. I don't know everyone who may read this but I do know some and everyones situation is different and we all have different problems in our life but God can take care of each one and give us the grace to go through these difficult times. Praise the Lord for his goodness.

"Give her some air, I think she's coming around." Gasp, "where am I, am I still alive?" I saw such pretty colors flying around heard children laughing, and saying this is what I always wanted and then everything seemed to fade away. They say its December 27th, how did I miss Christmas?

Ok, I know enough, I did survive Christmas, I felt very sleep deprived the whole day because of having worked the day before and was up late finishing up the wrapping that lasted only about 15 minutes the next morning. I guess that was the bright colors flying around. I do remember having the kids sit down and we read the Christmas Story and then I told them what God's gifts to us were. I also remember once when Alex said, " this is what I always wanted". The girls thanked me many times for their Christmas presents and told me it was best Christmas ever. That's what they say every year. It was a nice day and actually got warm about 50 degrees. Emily recieved a "brown" baby doll that is what she told me she wanted. Well she kind've looked at me funny and said why did you get me a brown baby doll, and I said, that's what you said you wanted. You know what that child told me, I was joking. Well she loves that babydoll anyway and takes it everywhere. She did other things too. Megan's favorite is her husky webkinz, and animal set she got. Alex has so many favorites but I think the tool bench was a big hit. Daddy got a new wallet, a belt and fleece lounge pants. My gifts were recieved early and they were a nice warm sweater and some slipper socks. My honey knows I like to stay warm.
All in all it was a nice day and we did play a game at the end. Mexican Train, a favorite we all have learned to love through my dad who would get us to play when we would visit. We also played Charades. These were family Christmas presents that I knew the kids would enjoy.

Remeber to keep Christ first all year long not just at Christmas.

Ok, now maybe I am slightly confused but children aren't really supposed to play in front of the church while there mother is singing, or are they. Well if you must know, this evening we had an all singing service and well I had to sing and Alex had to go up with me because he was just feeling that way it would have been alright if he had just stood by like it started. Anyway's he decided to put on some antics of his own, lying in front of the pulpit climbing on the altar and that else I don't know I just wanted to make it through the song before he climbed the walls the started hanging the light fixtures. Bless Sherilynn she managed to grab him and get him to sit with her. That wasn't the end after my song the kids cames up and sang away in the manger all was going well until Alex decide to start hitting his mic on his mouth. I was wondering where the thumping sound was coming from and then I notice to me dismay. When I tried to redirect him he growled into the mic. He did finally settle down just sing and everyone enjoyed their singing. The service was enjoyable and there was other wonderful music. If I was able to do streaming video or new how to do it I would put on my blog for you to enjoy. Well anyways. This may be my last blog unless I survive Christmas then you will hear from me again.

Oh, by the way when you pray add a friend of mine in and just pray that the devil will be defeated, for he is fighting ever so hard. Thanks and goodnight.

I have a burden on my heart for those who are being led astray by false doctrines. I heard a minister in his message say that the Holy Spirit will not lead you differently than what the Bible tells us but yet so many are professing to know Christ but do not believe the whole Bible. Jesus said if you love me you will keep my commandments. We are suppose to love God with our whole hearts not hold back so we still retain the "right" to live our lives the way we want to. We already are given a free will God cannot force us to believe what we don't want to believe but at the same time if we do not follow the entire Bible and truly listen to God's voice how are we living a victorious life. God led me from a church that did not teach a total surrender to him what it did preach was be involved, join the worship team, help out in the nursery, do all these good works but at the same there was no teaching on being completely surrendered to Christ. You know what happened to me when I surrendered to him he led me to a church that upholds the values that God gave and believes that a true revival starts when we die out to ourselves. Get rid of the carnal nature, if you are willing God will do that for you. I am living proof of this happening, when I look at my day and see how God brought me through it I am amazed. God will be faithful to carry us we just have to let him. My heart is overflowing with joy at how God has worked in my life. He has changed me inside and out. I hope you will give God your all. I pray that the eyes of the world will be opened to these very popular and false teachings.

II Timothy 4:2-3 Preach the word be instant in season, out of season reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.

A couple nights ago we took the kids to Festival of Lights at the zoo. We had a lot of fun looking at the lights, riding the train and checking out the animals. The real highlight of the night was in the reptile house and the zoo keepers trying to take of their animals had been so nice to give the Burmese Python several rats to eat. Well it must have squeezed the life out of them because they weren't looking so lively. Actually it wasn't so great to see but it was a good "science" lessen for the kids. Ok, back to the real reason for this post. The zoo was really beautiful all lit up, Randy treated us to some starbucks hot chocolate and I about went "nuts" smelling the cinnamon pecans. I will just have to make my own it is a bit cheaper that way. The weather was actually not so cold, as long as you dressed warm and kept moving.

Randy and I went christmas shopping and found some really good deals. We have been trying to get Alex a tool bench for the past year but they are so expensive, well we found one at sears 50% off, what find. Alex will be so excited. He loves to be a "workin man" like daddy. I have also been looking for a scanner, copier and printer all in one and well with one of the kids gifts we got one for $19.99. I can also stick my memory card from my camera right into. Well enough telling you all my Christmas secrets. How many days till Christmas? I have lost track I guess I am just enjoying it to much to worry. I am sure I will know when Christmas gets hear, or at least the kids will tell. Ha, Ha. Remember to have a Christ centered Christmas for he is the reason for the season.

Today is another date in time when I think of my dad. It is his birthday. I wish I could call him up to sing him happy birthday. I still miss him very much. Happy Birthday Day Dad.

8 days till Christmas

Only 8 more days, I can hardly believe it. Time is flying by so fast and still am not ready. Today at church the kids had their Christmas program. It was so cute and special because it was the first church program they were in. I did shed a few tears with joy at seeing them participating and singing along with the others. Alex was a little shepherd he was so cute. I did not get pictures because my camera has been missing, and I finally got the girls to locate it for me so I won't miss anymore kodak moments, it was hanging on the tree, wouldn't you know. Here I have looked in their room, underbeds, in drawers and everywhere else over the house.

Emily was updating her Christmas to me and told me, I want a babysister in pink clothes for Christmas. I really don't think that is going to happen right now. She kept telling me I can change its diapers. I do think babies are nice but she might have to wait for her own little girl in pink.

Well I am going to sign off for now I will keep you updated on our Christmas progress.

Is it winter yet?

This the question my kids ask when they out the window and see large snowflakes falling. No its not winter yet but it sure feels like. Actually it makes it feel a little more Christmas with the snow. It is canceling some of our activites but probably not all. The kids didn't get to have their junior church Christmas party today. But I made pancakes and sausage for breakfast and real treat in our house, a favorite all the way around. The pictures you see of the snow are about 2 hours into it and it keeps coming down. It may warm up and turn into rain, hopefully not freezing rain. I don't thing our trees can take another year with freezing rain. I hope you are enjoying your weather wherever you are. And we will try to enjoy our( I know the kids will)

We have had a big day today, Lorinda Frankenberry came over with her girls and we baked cookies all afternoon. The kids ate about half of them, or so it seemed. We did make quite a few and I continued after they left. I was able to make three kinds today, sugar cookies, russian teacakes(my favorite) and gingerbread men. I might make more tomorrow if I have any energy left. I am pretty exhausted, my night wasn't great to begin with. Emily diecided to have a fitful night not condusive to sleeping. Another exciting thing we went to go do today was to see Cincinnati Zoo's festival of lights. Well that didn't happen they just so happened to be closed this evening. They were nice enough to have a young man outside tell everyone who came by. The really sad part is we had really warm weather today, about 60 degrees. The next chance we get to go it will probably be freezing. Oh, well. We still had a fun day. When I get pictures I will share them with you of our fun day. So long.

Thanking God for his protection.

God provided his protection and the strength to stand against a potentially dangerous situation I was in today. I was staying with one of our hospice patients who has had abusive behavior towards our staff and others recently and after spending almost two days with her I felt it had all gone really well. She had been calm and pleasant until about 5:30 today when she decided to take a walk in the nursing facility she is in. I happily held her hand to help her and we took a walk, well little did I know she was on a mission she was trying to find a way down stairs. When she did discover where the door was to the stairway she tried to open and I tried to stop her and then she tried the key pad beside the door and when that didn't work she went for the fire alarm. All the while I am trying to talk her into going back to her room and get ahold of her hands so she can't set the alarm off. Against my best efforts she pulled the alarm and the loud siren only made matters worse she went crazy. Leaning all the way back on me and when the other staff and I got her to her room they left me there with her to get her some medicine to help calm her down it took all the coordination and strength I could muster to keep her from grabbing whatever she could get her hands to hit me with it. I knew my well being was dependent on keeping her hands in mine all the while yelling for help but no one could hear me because the siren was going off. I remember praying when I could remember to and even tried to encourage my patient to pray. After a few minutes, but seemed like hours, someone came in and helped get ahold of her and got her into bed and then gave her a shot of medicine. I was no hero in this, in fact I was shaking like a leaf and thought I was going to have a panic attack but God held me up and I do praise him for his protection. This patient told the facility staff if I could get ahold of her I'd kill her. They, and I truly believe she would too, or anyone who tried to stop her be it staff or another patient. I know that God was watching over me today.

I was working today and the sis-in-law of my pt. was talking about how she had lost her mother 3 months ago yesterday and then it hit me that it was 2 months today that my dad passed away. Sometimes if feels like a life time since I watched him cross over to the other side. The family I was with expressed joy over knowing your loved one is at peace with God and it is wonderful when you know they have made it to heaven. I know how it felt to when dad died and how wonderful it was when God made his presence known to me with assurance that he had made it to the glory land. I will forever remember that. I think at this time that is what stands out to me the most. I feel such a longing to call and share with him the joys of my life and I do get sad thinking about him and how much I miss him. I will cherish the memories and think of them often and, and tell my children how my father led a life of godliness before me and the legacy he has left us.

Well, we managed to get our tree up. It is bright and colofully lit and decorated with a lot of homemade decorations. I love it. The kids did most of the decorating and as you can see Alex discovered how to reach the top, so thankfully the tree was decorated from top to bottom and not just the bottom half. Christmas is so special to me this year because I can provide the kids 'with the true story, from my heart, of Christmas and Jesus' birth. I am hoping that somehow I can show Randy how important Jesus is to us and why he is more improtant than anything in the world. No sporting event can rival him. I am so glad I have given him my heart and surrendered my will to his.

Does your heart just sing when you know God is at work. I have had so many revelations this week as how God works in our lives. One of which come from reading the deviontionals from "My Utmost For His Highest", and what I realized is we are able be the most for God, we just have to be willing to let God do the work. Megan is so open to learning what God wants from us and I have been having many battles with her will lately and last night I was reading a children's version of this devotional book and I tried to explain to her that God was able to help us do anything even overcome our anger and frustrations and be able to handle things calmly. I think I was able to plant this seed in her mind and heart. Another thing I have learned is to completely lean on the Lord for an upcoming situation. The song on my heart is "Faith Is The Victory", and I truly believe that. I know that God is able, all things work out for good, and his grace is sufficient. I love the Lord with my whole heart, he is leading me down a wonderful path of holiness.

Here is a happy group of turkey eaters(and we haven't even yet in this picture). We had lots of fun at the Gray family reunion. Lots to eat and plenty of fun and games. As you can see my children enjoyed beating upon the poor defensless reigndeer and Ales trying to do the hula. It was a wonderful day spent with family sharing in our joys and sorrows. Remembering to be thankful for all that the Lord has done for us. We all have so much to thank him for, he has provided our needs and wants. We really have no need to complain, we are truly blessed. The following morning we met at a wondeful restaurant in Sugar Creek, Oh, called Dutch Valley Restaurant and partook of their wonderful breakfast buffet and proceeded to stuff ourselves again, as if thanksgiving wasn't enough. Well, had fun and hopefully more can show up next year. And, now on to Christmas . . .

I just wanted to give this little thought I got from another blog. "Don"t cry because its over, smile because it happened". I was thinking about my dad in this sense because I still am sad over the loss of him in our lives, but when I think about it, I am so blessed to have been a part of his life. I can smile at the memories, and I believe God knew that I needed a dad like him so when I start to have tears when I miss him I will try to remember to smile because I am blessed to have such a great legacy to carry on.

That phrase came from Darrell Lee Stetler's wife,(I can't remember her name at this moment).

This is a friend in Florida, Robin Ogg's, little baby and the kids all took turns holding him. Emily, my potential baby snatcher, held him the most and was just so pleased when it was her turn. We had a nice time playing there that day, it really helped to do things like this with kids during our stay in Florida, it helped them feel more at home. Megan, at one point, said she wanted to stay in Florida forever. Well, I am not quite ready to make a big move like that, therefore, we came home and they are getting back to our routine. They also enjoyed seeing their friends at church, so they forgot about wanting to stay in Florida. I will sign off for now.

Very rairly is Alex serious, I was able to capture these pictures during during these brief episodes. The first picture he was singing with headphones on but not connected to anything. He is such a ham. The second picture I am not sure what he was doing other than wearing a hat and pretending to be a baseball player. I hope you enjoy.

Well, let me see. Anything new around here. A lot has happened not all of it is significant but I will try to recap our life as much as possible.

Everyone has been fighting colds in our house and if that is the worse things can be I can handle that. It has been making the kids a bit crankie but we will get through with out any serious damage. Somedays our house seems so chaotic but I can still feel a sense of peace that can only come from God. The Lord is answering prayer in the fact that he gives me wisdom in how I handle the kids and the many issues that arise. I use to beg for patience but I felt like I failed miserably in my attempts to be more patient and then I realized what I really needed was wisdom because if I have wisdom then my frustration would not be so great because then I would have the ability to deal with situation in a manner that was directed by God. My children are learning that prayer is important to them too. Just the other day Alex was being naughty and he said that he would not go to heaven if he couldn't stop doing what he was doing. I always encourage my children to pray when they have problems and I did this again and he said he wanted to pray. We had a little prayer meeting in the living room and he asked Jesus to come into his heart. It was a very special moment for us. I also have Megan who will walk around the house and pray for her sister, Emily, when she is being disciplined. They are so special to me and I love that they are starting to understand the importance of prayer. On the other hand we are all learning the importace of praise and thanksgiving. Emily has a hard time going to sleep at night and is afraid of everything, I had exhausted my advice and attempts to tell her that she would be fine and she was safe, or no that is not a bug on the wall, and finally I told her, "Emily, when you get afraid start thanking God for everything you can think of, our house, your clothes, food we eat, etc..." This did seem to work, and then when I went to bed my mind was going in a million directions so I started to thank God for all things I could think of and the next day I continued to do so and when I start to have a difficult time I try to think of something in that situation that I can thank God for and you know what no matter what the situation is there is always something to be thankful. I have also noticed how close The Lord draws me close to him when I give him praise and thanks for all the things he has done. Well I better go, I have worked today and am a little tired and keep thinking about my warm bed, so I will go and try to write more soon. Strive for a relationship with God that leaves no doubts in you mind of the destination you will have when you leave this world behind. I love you all so much. Goodnight.

Just a quick note to say, "I'm back," . My computer is working again. I had to have a new hard drive installed and now it works like new. Well I will update you on my life at another time. I have other things to do right now. Talk later. Bev

Just to let you know my computer is down and I don't when I will be able to post again. Hopefully not long. It Completely crashed on me last night. Well Ibetter go. Talk later.

I am missing my dad so much, I sometimes have to try to stop thinking about it because I will cry. I will sitting at a traffic light beside a cemetary and a funeral procession was entering I almost wanted to follow them in and share there grief, tears started to fall but I had to try to stop them because my kids will worry if I cry to much. But I would like to share with some of the reasons why I miss my dad so much; I can't talk to him anymore, I can't share things about the kids with him, I can't see him anymore, I can't ask him to pray for me(I know others are), when the cars need work done I can't call for advice, my children will grow up without a grandpa(my husbands dad is dead also), I will never get to see him pull a full pull with his farmall tractors, I can't get a hug from him, I will not be able to play Mexican Train with him, there are so many other things I miss about my dad but that is all my mind can handle right now. I don't think of these things in a selfish way but they are things I have to face and are very real to me. I just thought if I shared them maybe it would help me in someway. I also think of things like, what is he doing in heaven, if I could just get a glimpse of the joy he is experiencing it would be wonderful. I am trusting in God to help me and I pray for strength. I think this is one of those times that God is carrying me because I don't even know how I make it through the day because my heart is heavy, I know my mom is feeling this and so much more because she has lost her companion, she comes home to an empty house and only a cat to meow her hunger. I must go back to work tomorrow, please pray for me. Being a hospice nurse makes it difficult, I am afraid that I will dissolve in tears in my attempts to comfort families, seeing the pain on their faces and watching them as they prepare to lose the one they love. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I am really not as depressed as I sound but these are things I feel I need to share because I know it helps in healing the hurt to get it out. Love and prayers to all of you.

Kudos to my sister Lisa, she told me about a great cleaning product at Dollar Tree, Totally Awesome Cleaner, and it really works. I was cleaning my blinds in the kitchen and dining and there were spots on them that I have been trying to get off for a long time. Well I tried this stuff and it cleaned the spots off. I was impressed. A great household cleaner for only a dollar. Thanks for the tip Lisa.

We made it home and the kids only whined about 100 times or so(that might be a bit of an exageration). That van will need a thurough cleaning inside and out and I will need a few days to get things back in order in the house. There is a huge pile of mail to sort through and no milk in the fridge. Sound familier to anyone out there. The cat and dog where glad to us and the kids could hardly contain themselves closer we got and they started to get excited and squeal. I was on the phone with my mom at the time we pulled in the drive and she laughed at how excited they were. On the other hand Alex just told me we were going back to Grandma's tomorrow. He is putting things in a halfway unpacked suitcase. I just don't think I am ready for the drive again this soon. The girls tell me we are never driving to grandma's again(they would rather fly), I guess they will just have to sprout wings because a family of 5 just can't fly that cheaply. I am trying not to feel overwhelmed with all that I have to do, I am going to take it one day at a time and pray that I don't over do it. I know I sound very disorganized in thought, I am, it just makes me feel better to put it down on "paper" and share with others. I have found out that others share many of the same feelings as me but no one ever expresses them because their afraid someone will think there a bit nutty, or odd. Ok, a whole other subject I won't get into.

Have I said how much I love my husband, well I do. He did an excellent job of keeping the house straightened up while I was gone. He even did his dishes and emptied the dishwasher. He's so sweet.

Well I better sign off for now, Alex is trying to stay up until the last is cat is hung( a dadism) and I have never noticed when the last cat is hung so I better start showing some authority and make him go to bed, if I can find the energy. Good night all, Keep God first in your life and remember, he cares about you.

I am heading back home, it is difficult to leave my mom. I know she will be fine but I still worry. I am trying to put my trust in God, I know he will take care of her. She has a wonderful church that will make sure she is doing fine. It is also a reality that we all need to go home and grieve in our own way. I had someone ask if my mom was going to see a grief counselor, but when I think about why would she need a grief counselor when she has the best one there is, free of charge. She has God, she can go to him and talk and yield her burdens to him. He will carry her through this time, on the other hand she does have friends with whom she can share with and talk to. Already he is helping her. His footprints are in the sand sometimes alone because he is carrying her and then when she gains strength he is their beside her holding her hand.

Mom, I love you and I am praying for you. I know God is helping you

We have finally put dad to rest. His memorial sevice was yesterday and today we had the burial service at Bay Pines National Cemetary. Both services were special in there own way. Hearing the kind words of others that really affirmed what we already knew about our Dad. I really don't have much more to say at this time because I am tired and emotionally drained. Please keep us in your prayers. I am trusting God to carry us through.

God has promised that he will never leave us or forsake us, and I believe that is in all things. Even at this time in my life, when I am beginning to really miss my father God is feeding me the truths of his word and affirming what I believe and the Christian, Holiness heritage my father has left me. In attending church with my mom I have been hearing some very old fasioned holiness preaching, and this evening God truly spoke to me and made is presence very real and assured me that I am on the right path. It may be straight and narrow but I have more freedom then I have ever known. I know that the only way to lead a truly victorious life and one that witnesses in truth to others is to follow God's word in every way and giving great attention to its detail. I know that I cannot lean towards the world in any way and the more I trust in God and strive for a closer walk the more joy and peace I have. My prayer is that others may know this peace and would have complete understanding of the light of God's word. I truly love Jesus and would not trade the path I have chosen for anything in the world. My prayer is that you would be truly enlightened to the truth of God's word not by man's understanding but as Jesus speaks to you.

I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy down in my heart....

Down in my heart to stay.

Give him your whole heart.

Click the above picture to view slideshow.

We are having a nice time with mom, we are trying to keep the kids busy and to wear them out. Ha, ha. I think it is working the other way because their energy is never ending but I am exhausted by evening time and sometimes before. We have been to Fort DeSoto and did some fishing and the kids played in water for a little while until a local highschool decided to have marching band practice right on the beach, well we packed up and left. We then made another beach attempt this past friday(which was successful I might add). We went to Seista Key, and went to Sarasota Beach. It is really a beautiful beach, white, power sand and very big too. When we first arrived we notice it was raining out over the ocean. Well not long after we had our umbrellas set up started having fun we got hit with a huge rain storm. The beach cleared of almost everyone except us. We were determined to wait it out hoping it would be a typical tropical rain strom and only last a little while. In the mean time one of umbrellas started to come loose because of the wind so mom decided to take it out of its hole and put it down only she kind've did it backwards she did not fold it up first, well you might have guessed by now what transpired. Yes, she just about become a modern day Mary Poppins, the wind gusted hard and and it started to lift and pull her along and then next thing we know is mom and the umbrella were on the ground and she is sitting in the umbrella. At first we were worried but then everyone started lauphing and we managed to closed the umbrella. The rain finally did stop and left us cold and drenched until the sun came out again which was quickly. It turned out to be a beautiful day and the kids had alot of fun. Oh, yeah, no marching band showed up that day. We were able to enjoy God's wonder. We are making good memories and the kids are having a great time.

It seems hard to believe that my father has been gone for two weeks. I really miss him, it just not the same with him gone. I keep remembering all the little things he used to say and do. It is such a comfort for to know he was right with God and he is in his heavenly home. Me and the kids are still in Florida. We decided to stay until the funeral, October 25, and burial is the following day. We have had our ups and downs, the kids have had a hard getting to sleep at night and I was really getting frustrated. I finally worked out a solution which seems to be working and we are more rested. Mom is doing well, God is helping her so much. I know that without God we all would be helpless through this time, and the sadness would outweigh the joy, but instead we can look to Jesus and our joy out-weighs the sadness. Please keep praying for us because I know this is just the beginning. I know that when all the family gets here for the services we will be reminded anew of our grief. I keep thinking of the song,

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus

lifes trials will seem so small when we see Christ.

One glimpse of his dear face all sorrow will be erased.

So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

I have the hope of Heaven, I pray you do too.

My father, Wilson Holloway, passed away 10/6/07 at 7:00pm with a smile on his face. God's Holy Spirit was with us. There were tears of sorrow and of joy. Sadness due to the loss of a husband, father and grandfather, and joy because he finally made it home. I know there was rejoicing in heaven because another saint had made it home.

Dad was truly blessed in the fact that even though he suffered he was given 7 years after initial diagnosis of his cancer. I also am blessed to have a father like him. He truly was a saint.

Continue to keep us in your prayers for we have a long road to go for I am sure we will grieve his loss for quite some time.

Mom and Dad's church has been such a great support and provided us with food and drinks, but not only that, they supported us with being here during this time and praying for us.

I would like to leave you with my dad's favorite chorus.

Fear thou not for I am with thee
be not dismayed for I am thy God
I will strengthen thee, yeah I will
help thee. Yeah I will uphold thee
with the right hand of my rightousness.

I wanted to share one of God's wonders with you. I have never seen the sky like this before and it comes at a time when we are watching our father leave this world for his heavenly home. To all of us here at my parents it was symbolic in the fact that it looked like God was preparing a roadway for dad to take. The Streaks in the sky went from east to west. You could not see where they started from or where they ended. It was amazing. At this time 1:40 am Friday morning we are all sitting in the living room waiting for the end to come. He is comfortable and peaceful. I know God is going to take him home soon and when he does there will be great rejoicing. I think of John Bunyan's, Pilgrims Progress, and Christian was crossing river and the waves where almost covering his head but he could see the celestial city and then he foot touched the bottom and he realized he was not going to drown and not make journey complete. I feel that is where my father is now. He is crossing over but it is a struggle but soon his feet will feel solid ground underneath and he will make it victorious to the celestial city where the shining ones will welcome him home along with all the saints that have gone on before him. It is bitter sweet, we are losing him here but heaven is gaining one of its own. I will sign off for now.
Please pray for us during this time.

I just wanted to stop by and add a note. In reality I am exhausted I have had a big day, Alex's birthday, and I am packing to leave for florida which is stressful in itself because my father is dying with cancer, I would write more about that but my mother has lovingly kept a log of that on a website which you can reach through my links. The real reason I wanted to write is actually funny. Megan who for about 2 yrs now has not worn pajamas to bed related to sensory issues related to anxiety and so on, well tonight again with no pajamas she standing in her room and puts on her slippers and then says to me "I need some pajamas", and I reply, "oh, so now you need pajamas". So she starts looking for some pajamas and then asked me, " can you find me some blue pajamas", and I say, "Megan I don't know where any blue pajamas are, why do you need blue pajamas," and her reply," don't you think I would look better with pajamas that match my slippers." I am speechless literally speechless and the more I think about it I just want to lauph long and hard if you only new her like I do you would understand but this was just something I had to share. She did find some blue pajamas that matched her slippers and yes she looks mutch better, and it has nothing to do with them matching her slippers. Well good night, and sleep tight.

Alex and his cake
Alex getting ready to blow out candles
Alex playing with new toys. Yeah!!!!
The cousins.

Isabella, Alex, Megan, Macy, and Emily

Alex had so much at his birthday party. He had cake, yummy, and lots of great presents especially a dump truck and and earth mover. What more could a boy want.

It was kind've funny when he woke me up this morning by saying, mommy, lets get the party started. He didn't want to wait anymore. Well it finally started and now its over. All that work to see a little boy smile. It was worth it.

Happy Birthday to Alex!

Today Alex turns 3, how the years fly by. Its funny how I remember those agonizing labor pains, all of them, until the moment he was born at 7:49pm. He weighed 7lbs 9oz and was just so little and cute. Now he is boisterous, impulsive, afraid of what he doesn't need to be, and not afraid of what he should be. If you read my post from yesterday he learned to ride his bike, and today I was watching him and he was riding like a pro and standing on the pedals while riding. I have not doubts that he could accomplish whatever he wants but all I want is for him to do whatever God wants him to do. If he has the ability to be a great athlete but become a preacher or missionary I would be overjoyed. Happy Birthday to my little boy.

PS. I will provide pictures later his birthday will be celebrated on saturday.

I wanted to make a correction to my last post. I didn't think Alex would actually learn to ride his bike, well, I was wrong. He, at the age of 2yrs and 364 days, has learned to ride his bike without training wheels. He was so excited, and I was in shock. Now I have more to worry about. He was already crazy active, now he will be even more so. The problem with a child learning things so young is that they don't understand their own limitation, or strength. Please continue to pray that I remain sane and that God protects my children in their very active lives.

Doing much better today and might even accomplish much more. My appetite is coming back. I was even able to eat White Castles(I must be better). Well enough about me. I wanted to let you in on a new accomlishment of Megan's. Randy took her training wheels off of her bike and she figured out how to ride it without them and not even wreck. She rides like and old pro. I was never like I still bare the scars on me knees from learning to ride a bike. Also, Alex insisted his training wheeles be removed so they were and with time he might even be able to ride without assistance. It is so funny because he tries and tries and most of the time he gets on and just falls over but he is learning to keep a foot down to keep that from happening. As soon as I get pictures I will share. Well I better go if I am going to get something done today. Keep smiling.

Hello everyone, just wanted to let you know that we are still surviving home-school, although sometimes just barely. Megan has been difficult lately she wants to do all the fun stuff but not the real work. Emily on the other hand, you just can't give her enough to do. She whips out faster than I can hand it to her, hope that continues. Right now I am trying to recoup from a stomach bug I seem to have aquired and it is trying to keep me down. If I could just eat some real food instead of applesauce, bananas, and crackers(maybe i'm reverting back to infancy) I would be ok, oh yeah and get a little energy. I managed to wash dishes today and put a load of laundry in, just sitting here takes so much effort. With my getting up there in years I notice the little viruses just seem so hang longer then they used to. Ok, I know, enough, enough. (I'm not that old, almost though) Well everyone else stay healthy and I will update you later. By the way I did wash my hands so you shouldn't catch any germs from reading this post. I will stop right now. . . . . .

A gazingstock

Hebrew 10:32-32But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions; Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used.

The above scripture reference was made very real to recently when I saw a lot of people at a neigbourhood get-together and not many wanted to socialize with me but would come and say oh, my look at you in your cute matching skirts, I might add our skirts did not match but I just smiled and asked how they were and then they drifted off with some excuse. People do look, thus I am a gazing stock. But, you know it just does not matter anymore. I am happy doing the things that God has asked of me and does it make me look different, yes it does but I have a such a peace and a joy that the world could never give me. It is worth whatever the cost. Praise Jesus.

Keep me in your prayers as I battle the devil daily.
Bev

This is a female Ruby Throated Hummingbird at our feeder. The kids have really enjoyed watching them. we actually have two that come and they are always fighting over the feeder. I think they must be on their way down south because we had not seen them until last week. It is actually great for an on-going science project.

My Motto

I won't lower my standards to raise yours.

My first shave!!!!

I wanted to post these pictures because I want others to be able to ask Alex when he is older,"do you remember the first time you shaved"? Well if you notice his chin he bares the marks of his "first shave". Of course it looked a whole lot worse when he had blood all over his hands and face. He said he wanted to be a man like daddy. I think he has learned his lesson, I hope. He is in a very impulsive stage right now and I hard put to keep up with him. Pray that I remain sane through this time. Ha Ha.

We are into our fourth week of school, I can hardly believe it. Time is going so much faster than I could have imagined. Emily is doing well learning to write her letters and numbers, although she hates doing it. We will be starting to work on phonics much more in depth this week although she is doing well at letter recognition and beginning letter sounds. Megan hit upon a new math concept today it proved more time consuming but I think I was able to explain it in away that she could understand. Alex will be going to preschool tomorrow. I debated long and hard on this, Randy really wanted him to go so we decide to let him go. It is a baptist preschool so they do teach them some things about Jesus and true meaning of Christmas and Easter it does make me feel a little better. He also enjoys going there, he went last year. It will be helpful for me because he has been very demanding of my time when I need to focus on the girls. Well I need to go. Please continue to pray for my family. God is really helping us and I know he will continue.

Only A Pair Of Shoes

This is a little story that is true about a little girls pair shoes(Emily's) that God saved from being lost forever. It was a week and half ago very hot and after church one weds evening Megan and Emily took their shoes off after church, as usual. Well I came and hustled them into the van not giving the the shoes, or their lack of, another thought. We drove home up and down hills, on the expressway and hitting a few bumps along the way. If you know anything about full size vans the rear shocks no matter how new are never that great. We made it home safe and sound and as I was about to get out of the van, Emily piped up and said, "mommy did you get my shoes off the back of the van". My reply, "Emily, what do you mean did I get your shoes off the back of the van, no I didn't. I am sure they are gone now, there is no way they would still be there." I immediately started thinking, " I don't have the money to be new shoes right now. What am I going to do?" Well of course I had to walk to the back of the van even though I knew they would not be there, but to my surprise there sat two little white shoes as if it was no big deal to ride on the bumper of a van. I was speachless, to say least. How was it possible. The only answer I could come up and I think its the only answer. God!!!!! With him all things are possible and if he should see fit that a little girls shoes will make home on the back bumper of a van, 15 miles I should add, then make it home they will. This was a lesson I was able to share with my children, how wonderful God was and how he knew that we needed those shoes. As the days go by I think about this and am amazed more and more. I know this seems so small and unimportant but God thought it was important.

http://www.abidingradio.com/

Here are some photos of our visit to the Newport Aquarium. Megan had been asking to go so we decide to to make a visit. We had a lot of fun. We even got to touch some "non-violent" sharks. When I see the diversity of God's creation it fillsme with wonder. I hope I can instill this wonder into my children.

Day 2 and we are still surviving. It was a little bit rough. Emily feeling emotional and dealt with her frustration by screaming but with a loving reminder she was able to get it under control. I am attatching some pictures of the kids in their school room. Even though our house is not big I am able to make use of the basement for school. I hope you enjoy the photos. Oh, by the way Alex wanted to be included in school to. He enjoys doing "homework" and other fun projects.

We had our first day of school. What fun! It actually went really well. The girls were excited to do whatever school work I had them do. I think my biggest challenge will be teaching Emily to read. I managed to buy the phonics program that came highly reccomended. The only problem is the company is not selling it until this fall because they are upgrading the program. I found it on ebay, such a wonderful place, and bought it for half the price.

When I decided to homeschool I had reservations about having the kids home all day every day and whether or not I would go crazy, I think with much prayer and mental preparation I am ready for it. I don't feel like I am losing out by having them and not having the freedom to go and do what I want instead I am given a gift of spending time with them and instilling christian values in them. To me this is part of being a mother, at least it is for me.

Another exciting event that happened in lives is, Megan lost her first tooth. She is seven and was so concerned because she had not lost any yet. Well it finally happened and she keeps checking it out in the mirror. What fun. I never realized how much fun it was to watch your child reach each mile stone, from their first smile, to hear them say mama and now losing a tooth. It all goes by so quickly.

Well thats all for now. Have a blessed day. Remember to give thanks in all things.

Well it is about time for school to start and I was finally able to order our school work. Yeah, I know its a little late but with this being our first year I have had to wait so that we had the money due to our car insurance is always due this time of year. But God is giving me patience and helping me not to panick. Normally I would be in a tizzy and moaning the fact that I was not ready. God is already rewarding me for that. I had ordered the math curriculum and the website said it could take 2-3 weeks for delivery but I did not panick instead I just told myself well I have some other things they can work on and we can do review, praise God he is faithful I just recieved an email saying it was set to be delivered this monday, Aug 13th. I wanted to shout for joy. His blessings are never ending.

Just a little update on my family, we are doing well. The kids have been a bit tempermental but we have had 100 degree temps and it is very humid. Our church is have VBS this week and the Bakers are leading that. They are really special people. They have been doing this for 30 years and going strong.

Well I guess that is all for now I hope everyone is having a blessed day. As the Bible says, Pray without ceasing, and Rejoice forevermore. The blessing will come pouring in.

I was given the highest complement a women can recieve when she has a mother like mine. As I was leaving church this morning Sis. Winkler hugged me and said you remind me so much of your mother.

For years I have said I would love to be like my mother but I thought that being like her meant being resourceful, growing a garden, "trying" to organize my house and so many other things. But I understand now that to be like my mother would be to be a truly dedicated Christian and more importantly then always having a tidy house to raise my children with the knowledge that Jesus loves them and we should strive to live, lives that are holy and exceptable in his eyes. He is working in all aspects of my life. I can't imagine it anyother way.

Praise the Lord, he saves and sanctifies. Jesus Christ bestowed the gift of sanctification upon me. The Holy Spirit dwells within me.

I had actually been searcing my heart for sometime and this morning the Sunday School lesson was about sanctification and then the morning message given by Brother Winkler was about Zaccheus. At first I questioned how this could apply to me. The heart of the message was "Jesus is passing by for you". Jesus did pass by and told me to make haste and except this gift he had prepared for me. Praise the Lord he is faithful and with him I can lead a victorious life.

We spent some fun family time today at the zoo. The kids love going and my mother-in-law had given us a zoo pass for the year so this is actually about the 4th time we have gone this summer. I have included some pictures of a squirrle in the back of a stroller eating snack mix. We also had Peahens and their babies bagging for food which Alex was thrilled about and would switch seats with me depending on where the bird was.

Emily would always lag behind and when we were seeing the primate exhibits I teased her that if she didn't keep up they might mistake her for a monkey and put in the cage with them. She thought that was funny but didn't work any harder to keep up with us.

We had the pleasure of watching two people get in the tank with the manatees and feed and clean them.

All in all it was a fun day and tiring, Alex and me took a nap when we got home. Hope you enjoy the pictures.

If You Were Busy...

If you were busy being kind
Before you knew it, you would find
You'd soon forget to think 'twas true
That someone was unkind to you.

If you were busy being glad
And cheering people who were sad,
Although your heart might ache a bit
You'd soon forget to notice it.

If you were busy being true
To what you know you ought to do,
You'd be so busy you'd forget
The blunders of the folks you've met.

...Author Unknown

Me and my family.

Hello to everyone out there. I have enjoyed reading so many family webpages that I thought I would share my family with you. First of all I am married to a wonderful man named Randy and together we have brought 3 children into the world. Megan is seven, Emily is 5 and Alex is 2, almost three in september. We currently live in Ft. Wright Ky about 5 minutes from downtown Cincinnati.

God has been doing a wonderful work in my life. I had strayed from him for several years but he gently tugged at my heart and showed me the need to raise my children with a christian upbringing. I hope that you will pray for my husband that he would respond to God's calling and give his heart to God.

We are attending the Bible Methodist Church in Burlington, Ky. It is such a wonderful church family to be connected with.

Our goals for this year are to start homeschooling our children, even though in the past I didn't really think it was something I could do, but with God's help I know he will provide the knowledge and the patience I will need to do the job properly.

I would like to give you a scripture that has been such a wonderful promise to me.

Ephesians 3:20 Now, unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us.